Today was day like any other, not much happened, I was finally able to fully quit my job which was completely draining me, oh sweet realese, I have been pondering (my orb) about this specific boy, as he seems very kind to me, I think he might even like me, but I am horrified, in my whole life I have only ever been in one (1) long distance relationship, which when ended completely destroyed me. I had this naive dream that I would be with one person and one person only my whole life, no matter what, and when that proved to be wrong, I thought I would never think about relationship or their possibility again... Then this boy just spawned out of nowhere, destroying everything I thought would stay same. I like him, I never thought I would be able to say those words again, but i truly do. Yet, I am still terrified, so many doubts, how could I ever trust ones words again, after what happened before. It is a indeed quite dilemma I have as of right now. On one hand I want to end it before it becomes something more, something that could possibly destroy me, on the other hand I truly do like him and enjoy his company. I am stuck in the middle, not knowing what to do. I really really wish I could truly open my heart again, and trust again, but I am so so scared. It hurts.